i went on my first bike ride around campus today. it was chilly.

I wonder what it's like...

I wonder what it's like to be the rain-maker...
I wonder what it's like to be the head honcho...
I wonder what it's like to be a super hero...
...straight up, what did you hope to learn about here?


Sometimes, you may want to think how your actions affect others around you. Despite having all this power, you may want to re-evaluate the bridges you're burning. If you want to pretend I don't exist, the only thing I can offer you is a look at me in the future, when I'm past this, past you.

Karma's a bitch.

You know the thing is, I don't want to mean much.
Like now, I don't care if I mean nothing to you.

What I want is to mean something, in the end, when it's all over, when I'm gone.

I want you to see who I was on the inside, not this bitch I portray. This isn't me. I know so much better. I am so much better. I can love more than you've all ever seen, all because what I show is a selfish sarcastic bitchy attitude.

I want people to get over material things and just give everything they have to everyone. I would give anything for anyone. I just want people to live their lives and be happy and if that means giving up some of the things I have, I will. I would lay my life down for any person on this planet.

And I know I'm a bitch and people thing I wouldn't ever do that, but I would. I care about people so much. I don't want anyone to ever be unhappy. I want everyone to feel beautiful and cared about and loved. I never want anyone to be alone. I would give my life for everyone to feel like they are not alone.

Seriously.

You're all fucking perfect to me.

Now look at the person next to you and love the shit out of them, every little bit of them. You may be the smile that keeps them going, the love they need. You never know what's going in someone else's life until you take yourself out of your own and love everyone with all of your heart.

Starting over.

If I want to be successful, I need to go back to where I was, start this all over.

At one point, I had lost 54 pounds.

Now, I've only lost 40.

I need to forget all that happened.

I still weigh 250 pounds.

I want to weigh 150 pounds.

It's a good number, it's a safe number, it's an achievable number.

As of now, no more Jasmine. No more pizza. No more chips. No more sandwiches from Union. No more candy. No more money put into candy machines. No more until I am who I want to be. This is not a joke. It needs to be serious. I am serious. So mother fucking serious.

The thing about me is, all i do is win. Doubt me. I dare you.

wickedddddddddddddddd

there's a girl i know, and he loves her so....i'm not that girl.

oh man. i can't wait for next weekend. old friends, new city, wonderful release from life.