day 3. if i was the last girl and you were the last boy, maybe then you'd look, maybe then you'd love me.

all i can think about are the things i am going to consume next.

today's consumption

~9:00 a.m.
1 regular bagel
1/2 cup of strawberries/ pineapple/ yogurt/ granola mix

i've realized this fruity mix on a bagel makes them almost tolerable.

~11:30 a.m.
1 gigantor salad consisting of lettuce, honeydew melon, cantaloupe, pineapple, grapes and mandarin oranges...so basically a fruit salad with lettuce. but it was gigantor.

~2:00 p.m.
1 'protein powerbar'. i just wanna make sure i get some protein somehow. lol.

~6:00 p.m.
1 regular bagel
1/2 cup of strawberries/pineapple/yogurt/granola
1 side of potatoes. in the mashed form. there were a lot. i ate them all.

~7:00 p.m.
1 package of starbursts.

the starbursts were a bad idea. i'm so full i'm gonna vomit. which is strange because i don't think i've consumed a lot of food this afternoon. i mean, i was hungry when i went to get dinner...?

hmpf. i don't know why i keep getting bagels and fruit/yogurt. they are easy to get in the mess of humans in the sac and also take a while to consume so i don't think about food as much because it's making me content while i eat it. happier for longer. that's grood.

i wonder if normal humans think this much about food. i feel like i'm consumed by it! ahhhh!!

however... thinking back, i can remember few times when a normal dinner has made me vomitrocioiusly full. maybe that's my problem. my stomach was/is too big. or maybe i never stopped to think if i was full or not, i just ate to epic proportions and wanted to vomit. now it can only fit a salad or a bagel+fruit/yogurt. convenience at it's best.

i am a control freak...that is my problem. if i cannot control life, i can still inhale as much food as i want. someone needs to start reading this blog to hold me to the standard of being a vegetarian/being a good human in general.

i also need a scale to monitor if this vegetarian-ness is making me a smaller human. haha yes me, a scale. however, i cannot let it control me, but rather, show me the difference i am making just as it's happening. great....i hope. i just purchased one on walmart.com for $26. i NEEDED the overnight shipping. hopefully it will make it by friday. hopefully the numbers on it won't make me cry with disgust...

...i don't know.

i wish i were a baby human.