why last night even happened

well. i found out why you didn't want to see me when you were still up late. strang spent the night.
cool.

glad you could fit five seconds of me into your schedule last night around her.
sweet.

and don't you dare every try to tell me again you miss me as much as i miss you.

i would NEVER use me being 'tired' as an excuse not to see you when there is another person who is obviously more important to me i am spending time with. not that there is anyone more important to me...

and i would NEVER blow you off.

you know i NEED you right now.

you are hurting me so much.

i feel like i am mere dirt to you and my existence and need to see you only disgusts you more.

i am so inadequate.

i guess there's a difference between how much i care and how much you care and the rift is only growing deeper...the knife you are pushing down in my back when you know i need you is only sinking deeper...

we are all going deeper, deeper...